I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
