Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize