And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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