Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
