sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Randomize
