so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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