No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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