I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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