Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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