shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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