So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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