Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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