Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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