Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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