Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i came on her dog
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
