I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
