Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
