Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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