i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
