ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
is that a dick in a sweater?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
