mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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