I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
