It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
