hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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