yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
So here I am, sexting at work.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
