Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
God, I missed his penis.
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