Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
