if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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