my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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