i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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