I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
