So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
