She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
