It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
