He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
