Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
then he tried to convert me to islam
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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