perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
