Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
