we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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