Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
