I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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