Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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