He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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