Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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