He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
