Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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