My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I'm always down for nudity.
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