Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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