high people should be assigned attendants
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
