Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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